For years I thought the twinkling eyes were benign until the mask slipped again and again and again. My P’s eyes were / are always twinkling and full of ‘warmth’ – what I now know to be amusement since that same amusement was in his eyes when he hoovered me after I went NC. ~ Reid Meloy, PhD., International Handbook on Psychopathic Disorders and the Law, Volume 1, p. If you do, remember this: “When one gazes upon the psychopath, there is less there than meets the eye.” For example, while a gaze that comes across as “reptilian” would be disconcerting and arouse suspicion, a gaze that’s simply “intense” could easily be misread.ĭon’t ignore the signs that you might be looking into a psychopath’s eyes. And depending on their particular gaze, there may not seem to be anything amiss until after the fact. Nothing is foolproof. If you don’t see the signs in someone’s eyes, it doesn’t mean they’re not psychopathic. I mistook the psychopath’s predatory focus for the gaze of someone who was enamored with me. He smiled and said all the right things, but his gaze was actually the focus of a predator on his prey. It was as if there were a connection between our eyes that made it impossible to look away. I become completely absorbed in it and oblivious to the world around me. He had a transfixing, steady gaze and could lock my eyes onto his for long periods. A few times I saw the light go out in his eyes, and in those moments they became flat and dead. It was actually the twinkle of amusement as he manipulated me. They twinkled with warmth when he smiled, or so I thought. In my own experience, the psychopath I knew had lambent eyes - brilliantly playful, softly bright, luminous. I didn’t know what was behind them and they didn’t tell me what he was thinking or what his intentions were.”Ī psychopath’s strange, unsettling gazes are not constant – they can be momentary, lasting for a very short time. In Without Conscience, a victim described the predatory stare: “I found it difficult to look at his eyes because they confused me. Normal people maintain close eye contact with others for a variety of reasons, but the fixated stare of the psychopath is more prelude to self-gratification and the exercise of power than simple interest or empathetic caring.” In his book Without Conscience, Hare wrote, “Many people find it difficult to deal with intense, emotionless, or “predatory” stare of the psychopath. I remember thinking how his eyes were like that of a lizard, alive but somehow dead, at odds with the rest of his face.ĭr Robert Hare says the intensity of the psychopath’s gaze is “similar to the concentration with which a predator stalks its prey.” They are totally focused and their rapt attention does not waver. Sometimes during sex, mine would stare directly into my eyes for up to twenty minutes at a time. His eyes would not waver… My psychopath had a lined face but the eyes were bright and he tended to act as if he was in his twenties (going on 60 in physical terms!). And it was when he told me to “look into my eyes” which I did and his response was, “I love when you look into my eyes.” By the next day, I woke up and thought about him immediately and couldn’t stop… I have not a doubt that I was hypnotized by him and I believe I know when. It’s eerie indeed, as I recall my psychopath’s lifeless expressions, lizard eyes… His eyeballs appear as if they are made of stones. The lifelessness, lack of light or soul behind his eyes is chilling. My two year anniversary is Sunday and I looked at our wedding pictures, just to see if his eyes were as dead then as they are now. His eyes appear to be flashing with hatred and contempt. I have one very eerie photo taken on a holiday where he is looking directly at me through the lens. Once you look into those cold, dead eyes, you aren’t the same. It was like staring at the eyes of the devil… I saw a picture of me and him the first day we hung out. I thought it was because I was in love.Īs the relationship progressed I saw his eyes change to evil, soulless tools and it was frightening and perplexing. I couldn’t even look him in his eyes because I felt a shiver running through me. I have noticed that sometimes his eyes looked completely without expression, like glass…
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